Single or Available?

There is a difference.   One that’s not hard to see if you think about it.

Single is not the same as available.  Anyone who is not in a committed relationship where they feel safe and secure and wanted and loved, is single in a sense, but that doesn’t mean they are truly available.

In order to be available one needs to drop their baggage in the dead letter department never to claim or dwell on it again.  That means no feelings of hurt or angst for their ex or their past.  No wishing for them back, no holding back with the relationships yet to come.   No more crying over what happened,  or thoughts of woulda, coulda, shoulda, and what if…

Many single people are not truly available and that means that they really shouldn’t be out there looking for someone new…  Many people feel they need someone, anyone to make them complete –  That is also not available, they need to find peace with their past first before they can move onto their future.

Available means you are happy with who you are, that you know happyness comes from within, not from a partners attention.  Available means that you are ready to open yourself up wholy to whomever lies before you with no judgements or preconcieved notions, that you are ready to put your heart back on the line and see what you may find.  To realize that you may find love or heartbreak; that you may have to kiss a lot of toads and be bored over many cups of coffee before you find the one that you connect with in a way that feels right in everyway, and realize that once you do, it may be fleeting.  But to be available you must be able to fully experience everything with a clean heart and a clean slate.

It may take time… It always takes time to reach this point and be truly ready for the next love story in your life.   For some it is a day, for others a week, a year, a decade.  I know a lady who is still not over her ex from 21 years ago and harbors the bitterness and anger that so many women do, and won’t be able to move on or find her own peace until she lets it go and yet she resists it everyday, even 10 years after his demise…

And I hate to say it, but Available is not necessarily Single…  I know men whom are dating, have long term girlfriends, and even wives who are technically available because their partners no longer care to keep them interested or try to connect with them on that other level, whom have given up on their current relationships but are afraid to officially move on…

So on this Valentines day all you ladies and men, step back and take a look at yourself, a good long hard look in the mirror and ask yourself, are you single?  Are you available?  Are you both?

If you are single but not available it is time to take a break from love or lust and find your inner sanctum of you.

It you are available but not single decide if you want to put forth the effort into fixing what you have or if you are ready to move on.

And if you are both?  Then put yourself out there and have a great time with your life, and see what happens to come your way.  It will happen you just have to be ready when it does.

And for the record, I am both single AND available 😉

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One Response to “Single or Available?”

  1. Love love love this post! Kudos to you for sayin’ it like it is and showing us all the difference between single and available!
    Looking forward to reading your entire blog entries to date. You’ve gained a loyal follower my dear…..
    Cheers,
    Lee


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