Astrological bullshit

I have read horoscopes and love matches over the years, tried to believe in their hocus pocus, that he’s the right one, or a good match.  The ones that say today is a good day to take a drive…   Today you must stay away from water and rain…  The chinese fortune cookie sayings ” today is a huge improvement over yesterday”.  But none of them ever matched up or made sense.  Until now.

In an after-hours-drunkin-sober-up-so-we-can-all-drive-our-asses-home-fest the other night a guy whipped out he cell phone and looked up his sign, and then proceeded to read it to me saying, this would explain it all, all because I told him to smile more…  I laughed and listened.  And thought it was all crap.

Till I looked it up myself the next morning, completely sober…   and OMG  it has me pegged.  I am a “little ramming lamb” as Betty put it, and it’s site told true of her too.

It confirmed what I already knew.   I am an impatient mother-fucker, I can rock RED like no one else can, and I am destined to be a slut – it is just who I am, now that doesn’t mean I sleep around, or fuck every cock I see, and the site did put it a little nicer, saying I was a “Don Juan” , but really the way I see myself is a slut. I act, talk, dress, I really slut it up and I don’t care.  Ever been told at a bar by one of your good friends (with his wife standing right next to him mind you)  that you looked like “you belong in the bedroom in that outfit”?  I have.  Ever been called out a party by all the girls to try on your shoes because they are “fuck me pumps” and none of them would ever think of buying them?  I have.

But, I am good with it.  It is who I am and the internet gods have confirmed it, I am an inpatient – red rockin – slut.  and proud of it!

Hmmm… I might still be a little dunk…  The Captain has been kind and generous to me this weekend 🙂

Wanna look up your sign and see if it matches you to?  Let me know if it does.

Aries – March 21 – April 20

Taurus – April 21 – May 21

Gemini – May 22 – June 21

Cancer – June 22 – July 22

Leo – July 23 -August 23

Virgo – August 22 – September 22

Libra – September 24 – October 23

Scorpio – October 24 – November 22

Sagittarius – November 23 – December 21

Capricorn – December 22 – January 20

Aquarius – January 21 – February 19

Pisces – February 20- March 20


One Response to “Astrological bullshit”

  1. The traditional traits for Aquarius, I have.
    At least, I can bear a lot of water. Close enough?
    Cheerz to a happy St. Patrick’s Day! 🙂 Uncle Tree

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