the talk

No , not that one, not the one about the birds and the bees, I’m hoping to avoid that one, If I can somehow, although I’m sure it won’t be long till I face the music and have to give it to someone or another…

No, the talk I’m talking about is one that apparently you have to have once you start seeing someone and doing things with them on a regular basis, unless you want to buy stock in Trojan.  It doesn’t seem to come up with some guys, or it doesn’t last long enough to be an issue.  But apparently sometimes it becomes an issue as it did recently for me.

When you fuck someone for the 1st time you use a condom, regardless of what kind of backup, or protection it seems you have in place.  I mean you don’t want to look like a whore, or anything.  Some guys will ask straight out, or just don’t care and figure if anything happens it’s your responsibility to take care of it somehow, while with others it comes up during the act and you can just say “I’m on the pill”, or “I have an anchor”.  Other times if you are using the pill, they just find them and know, but other times it just doesn’t work out that way, and apparently not all guys are as quick to bring it up as others.  They would rather hold back, pull out, or will just say no if they can’t control it and only finish with handjobs or blows.  This can apparently mask itself as whiskey dick to the eye of the beholder, meaning me, although the jury’s still out to whether this problem has been solved by the talk or not since I got a present the day we had it.

I have to say though, I have never, ever, ever been in this position before where I felt I needed to say something, where it hadn’t come up on its own or it was  long enough lasting that it became an issue, and frankly I had no idea how or where to start.

I mean, do I bring it up out of the blue?  Wait till we are about to get started again?  Or what?  And was he not concerned about it?  Or does he just not care?  And if he did how come he didn’t bring it up?  I mean it really was his idea to stop using the damn condoms in the 1st place…

Well… Maybe he thought it was my idea?  I’m not to sure on that one, I mean I told him that my Aunt had just gone home and from that point on condoms were never mentioned again…

By any who, in the following month  no protection was being used as far as he knew and he didn’t finish after that first weekend. At. All.  Very frustrating and a HUGE blow to a girls ego and delicate sense of worth I tell you.  Pixie and Betty both said I needed to tell him about my anchor at that point, so I braced myself to take the plunge, diving headfirst into the unknown since somehow I had made it through my whole life without ever having to be the one to bring it up.

I was scared, I was shaking, I think I was chain-smoking and apparently I was staring trying to figure out how to word it, when I just bust out ” You don’t have to worry…… ( huge pause)  When we have sex…”   He looked at me weird at this point.  ” I’ve got it covered….”  What? he said. ” Birthcontrol.” I answered.   Silence… I sighed a huge breath of relief that was over now, I barely listened to his response it was something along the lines of you should have told me, or that’s good to know, or I need to know that.   Basically like I had just said hey there’s more beer in the fridge.  Apparently he didn’t see my freak out, my sweating out how to do this or how it was going to go, that I have no idea what I am doing in this whole dating thing, seeing people, long-term fucking?  I don’t even know what to call it that’s how clueless I am.

But anyways it’s done, and since then we haven’t sinned, so I guess now I’ll just keep waiting for my Aunt to take her leave and see what happens.  Hopefully the whiskey dick syndrome and the ego checks will cease and things can go on going where-ever it is that they are going…

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